


breathe

by schittyfic (sixtysevenlmpala)



Category: Schitt's Creek (TV) RPF
Genre: Dan Levy Hosting SNL, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Phone Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Sexual Fantasy, no infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:28:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29268744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixtysevenlmpala/pseuds/schittyfic
Summary: The entire last week in New York has been a steadily building wave of overwhelming excitement and sickening nerves, culminating in tonight, and now Dan’s not sure how to crash down from it without shattering apart.Thankfully, his boyfriend knows just how to take care of him - even from 1,789 miles away.
Relationships: Dan Levy/Noah Reid
Comments: 27
Kudos: 93





	breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Dan Levy hosted SNL and I'm having a lot of Soft Feelings about it. Somehow, they turned into tender porn. Dan Levy deserves this, damn it.
> 
> There's no infidelity here - in this universe, they are in an established relationship with each other.
> 
> Enjoy <3

*

By the time he’s back at his hotel, Dan is still buzzing. He doesn’t think his heart has stopped palpitating since he woke up this morning, the entire day a mad whirlwind of dance rehearsals and last-minute line changes and complimentary cookies and barely-suppressed panic attacks in the spare solitary moments in his dressing room. As he closes the door to his suite softly behind him, he leans against it and blows out a shaky breath, glancing down to watch the keycard quivering in his unsteady hand. The entire last week in New York has been a steadily building wave of overwhelming excitement and sickening nerves, culminating in tonight, and now he’s not sure how to crash down from it without shattering apart.

He takes another breath - _in for four_ \- and makes a mental list of the unbelievable things that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Maybe if they’re neatly ordered, he’ll be more able to process them.

  1. Phoebe Bridgers complimented me on my hair. Okay, and I got to introduce her and watch her perform, but seriously - she complimented my hair.
  2. I’m in a group chat with a bunch of SNL cast members now.
  3. I got to see Trevor, and Sarah, and Mom and Dad.
  4. I got to _hug_ Trevor, and Sarah, and Mom and Dad.
  5. I demonstrated my questionable vocal capabilities on live TV, and didn’t spontaneously combust.
  6. I said ‘ballsack’ on live TV.
  7. Oh, right. Yep. I just hosted SNL. _I hosted fucking SNL._
  8. What the literal fuck.



Yeah, that didn’t help. Dan buries his face in his hands for a second, feeling an inexplicable prickling behind his eyes, a bubbling-up of all the anxiety and joy and discomfort and relief. He sniffles and swipes under his glasses to wipe away the tears, heading into the suite and flopping down backwards onto the bed.

The quiet of the room is comforting after the lights, the noise, the people. He wonders what he’d be doing if things were normal. Most likely, he’d be pleasantly drunk already, and out until the dawn celebrating with his family and friends in as many of his favourite NYC spots as possible. He’s not too mad about it. This silence almost feels closer to what he needs.

He doesn’t realise he’s nodded off in that position, feet dangling off the bed and still wearing his Givenchy sneakers, but he’s startled awake an undisclosed amount of time later by his phone vibrating loudly by his head. Grunting, Dan fumbles for it without sitting up, squinting at the caller ID and immediately feeling his face soften. Dan already knew he deliberately wouldn’t call until later in the night, giving him a chance to wrap things up and reply to the deluge of messages, but he’d be lying if he said he hasn’t been counting down the seconds.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Thoby,” comes the reply, warm and gently teasing, and Dan closes his eyes to soak it up. 

“Ah, you watched it then.”

“Dan,” Noah chastises. Dan can almost picture the serious look on his face. “Of course I watched it. You _hosted fucking SNL._ ”

Grinning at the direct quote from his mental list, Dan presses the speaker icon and settles the phone near his head, so he can lie back and let Noah’s voice drift into his ears. “So… what did you think?” he asks, inwardly wincing at how hesitant he sounds. He’s seen Twitter, he’s seen his inbox blowing up, he’s already been congratulated by every single person on set - but there’s still a nagging fear that maybe everyone’s lying, maybe they’re being kind, maybe if he just looked in the right places he’d find all the people tearing him apart.

The line crackles as Noah huffs out a laugh. “What did I think? Seriously?” A pause. “Eh, it was alright, I guess. Not my favourite episode.”

Dan snorts. “Prick.”

“Well, don’t ask stupid questions,” Noah laughs. “Daniel, you were - you were incredible. You blew me away. Honestly, I - I expected a lot from you, ‘cause I know how talented you are, but this was another level, even.”

“Oh. That’s uncharacteristically genuine of you,” Dan murmurs with a smirk.

“Yeah, well. You deserve it. Congratulations.”

Dan presses his lips together and grabs onto the warmth blooming in his chest. “Thank you,” he breathes out softly, as if he’s been holding his breath for a week straight.

“Don’t get used to it. Special offer, one night only. Tomorrow, I’ll be back to trolling your ass at every opportunity.”

“I mean, you do worse things to my ass.”

That has Noah laughing, the kind of laugh where his head falls back and his face bursts wide open. Dan aches. He wishes he could see it.

“I miss you,” he blurts out, and Noah’s laughter subsides.

“Miss you, too. Gotta admit, I was pretty jealous of all those people who got to hug you. Or, like, be in the same room as you. Wish I could have watched it all in person.”

There’s that prickling behind his eyes again, hot and persistent, but he blinks it away. “Yeah, I - I wish you could have. A couple of times, I… thought of you watching in your hotel room. It kind of, weirdly, helped? To think I was just performing for you.”

“Glad I could be of service,” Noah says softly. “Which parts did you think of me watching?”

Dan grins. “The skit in the bar, for one. I knew you’d have your fucking nose pressed to the TV staring at my legs in those shorts.”

“You’re not wrong, although the vocals did distract me a little.”

“Fuck you,” Dan laughs, and feels one of the many, many knots of tension in his body loosen slightly.

“Glad you got to see your family, though.”

“Yeah. Feels like a long time since Christmas.” Dan can still feel the tight squeeze of his mom’s arms around him, petting the back of his hair and telling him through proud tears that she’d liked his opening twirl. He can still see the gleam in his dad’s eyes as he watched from the sidelines, and hear Sarah’s shrieked _oh my god, Dan, you did it!_ as she ran up to him when they wrapped. When he speaks, there’s a rough edge of tiredness in his voice. “They - they liked it, they said it was good. So did Trevor. Everyone on the show seemed pleased too, actually, so.”

“Mmm,” Noah hums thoughtfully. “What do _you_ feel, though?”

“Me?” Dan blinks, nonplussed. “Well, I - I think it went well? I mean, I broke like, a thousand times, and I definitely almost fell on my ass at the beginning of the dance number, and I don’t think I’ll ever get the feeling of cold chilli off of my hand, but --”

“No, no, not about the show. I mean, like, how are you _feeling?”_

“Oh.” Dan sighs shortly, taking his glasses off to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Honestly? Exhausted. But also like I’ll never sleep again,” he laughs weakly. “Um, I feel… raw. Like - like I’ve been shoved through a blender or something, and now I have to put all the mushed-up pieces back together somehow. I mean - ew, that’s a gross metaphor, sorry. But - it was amazing, obviously, it was one of the best nights of my life, I’m not - I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I just can’t… calm down.”

There’s a pause, and he hears Noah shifting, a rustle of clothes. “Want me to help with that?” Noah says eventually, sounding a little closer to the phone, or maybe that’s just Dan’s wishful thinking.

“Oh? What kind of help are you proposing? Are you about to show up at my suite with a massage table and a playlist of dolphin sounds?”

“I wish,” Noah snickers. “But I can take care of you, if you want.”

Dan suppresses a shiver, although he suddenly feels hot beneath all the layers he’s still wearing. “Yes,” he whispers, nodding jerkily, despite the fact that Noah can’t see it. He can already feel himself slipping willingly into that quiet, soothing space in his head. “Yes. I want that.”

“Okay. Put me on speaker phone.”

“You already are.”

“Oh, prepared for this, huh?” Noah quips, and Dan’s lips twist and purse in a mixture of shyness and anticipation. “Have you undressed already, too?”

“Um. I actually - no. I haven’t even taken my shoes off. I just crashed like this.” Dan laughs a little, aware of how ridiculous it is.

“Mm, well, that’s no good. I want you to get nice and comfortable for me. Take everything off. Get the pillows just how you like them. Turn the side light on, main light off. Oh - and grab your lube.” Even as he’s still talking, Dan’s sluggishly sitting up and unlacing the sneakers. It’s so easy to do as he’s told, so easy to let Noah decide.

Noah keeps talking to him, all soft encouragements and gentle but firm reminders of what he needs to do, the words washing over him as if they’re cleansing away the day. As soon as he’s settled, plush hotel pillows comfortably arranged behind his shoulders and his body stretched out bare on the bed, he mumbles, “Mhm, mhm, okay, I’m ready.”

“Good,” Noah says simply, and the single syllable makes Dan ache.

“Can I touch myself,” Dan rushes out - it’s barely a question with how fast he says it, and he’s not even hard yet, but the urgency comes from the ragged, impatient edge of anxiety he’s been riding on all day. He’s so desperate for any kind of grounding, anything to bring him down.

“You can, but not your cock. Not yet. I’m gonna tell you where to touch. Can you do that for me?”

Dan clenches his jaw and his fists by his sides. “Yes.”

“First, though, I want you to breathe for me. Nice and deep and slow.”

God, Noah must _know_ what he sounds like, dropping his voice low on that last sentence. A flicker of arousal curls in Dan’s gut as he obediently blows out a long exhale. It’s unsteady, and it brings his attention to how he’s been breathing - how he might have been breathing all day, quick and shallow. It takes concentration to regulate himself, screwing his eyes shut and counting each breath out, but slowly some of that anxious, on-edge feeling subsides.

“That’s it, Daniel, that’s so good. Well done. I know that’s hard.”

Dan practically glows. “Now can I--?”

“You can touch your neck,” Noah says casually, and okay, that’s not exactly what Dan’s expecting. “Lightly. Just drag your fingertips up and down the sides, and over your throat.”

“Okay,” Dan whispers. Touching his neck definitely shouldn’t be exciting, but as he trails his fingers from his ear lobe all the way down to his collarbone, the tiny hairs on his skin prickle up and send a shiver right through to his ribs. He closes his eyes and concentrates on the feeling, on Noah murmuring encouragements into his ear, on resisting the urge to just _fuck it_ and grab his dick. He wants to be good. He wants Noah to take care of him.

Noah doesn’t need to video call him, doesn’t need to ask him to confirm he’s doing what he’s told. They both know, very well, that he will.

“Tell me how it feels, baby.”

“S’good,” Dan manages, measuring out another carefully-paced breath. “I - I want more.”

“Yeah, you deserve more.” Dan’s chest absolutely swells at that, almost bursting with warmth. “Little further down, now. Use both hands. Want you to touch your chest, but not your nipples. Those are mine to say when you can touch. Okay?”

Dan grunts out an agreement, but forces himself to say, “Okay, Noah,” because Noah will stop this if he doesn’t. Using the flat of his palms now, he skims his hands down to his chest, stroking the thick hair there but dancing around his nipples; he swipes teasingly closer every time, and as he glances down he notices them stiffening up regardless of the lack of contact, notices he’s squirming already. “Fuck,” he mumbles, letting out a soft, barely-there whimper.

“That was a good noise,” Noah says, with a smile in his voice. “I like that. Wanna make you moan for me.”

“Then let me - let me touch myself.”

“You are.” 

Dan groans, fisting one hand in his chest hair and tugging on it just for something else to cling to, making his spine arch. “Noah,” he whines, quiet and pleading. “Take care of me.”

“Shh-shh, I am, babe, I’m gonna make you feel so good. Why don’t you touch those gorgeous nipples for me now, huh? Nice and soft.”

“Yes, yes - _ah_ ,” Dan gasps, jerking just at a brush of his fingers. He’s so keyed up that everything feels a thousand times more intense than it has any right to feel. “Fuck, I love when you touch me here.”

“Wish I could. Can you pinch them for me, sweetheart?”

“Anything,” Dan says breathily, and he does, and _God_ , it’s glorious. Whimpering, he pulls them until he’s squirming and then releases, rubbing his thumbs over the flushed buds to soothe them before repeating it again, just like Noah would.

“That’s it, there you go.” Noah’s voice is gravelly, rough. Dan wants to feel his lips against his ear.

“Are you touching yourself?”

Noah chuckles a little. “Uh, yeah. Be impossible not to, with you sounding like that. But we’re not focusing on me.”

“Tell me - please.”

There’s a considering pause. “I’ve got those grey sweatpants on that you like, and nothing else.” Dan bites down on his lip, hard, eyes squeezed shut to picture it. “Laying on this big ol’ bed. Got my dick out, just stroking it real light, just for a little something. You’ve made me so fuckin’ hard.”

Dan swallows back a moan. He’s so, so fucking hard, too. He doesn’t know when it happened, only that there’s a dizzying throb between his legs now. “Can I, can I --”

“No,” Noah says firmly, and Dan’s hand freezes where it was sliding down to his cock, as if he’s been caught in the act, as if Noah can see him somehow. He feels his face heating up at the shame of almost breaking the rules, and instead grabs the sheets until Noah speaks again. “Touch your thighs. Same as your neck, nice and soft. I want you to tease yourself, trace your fingers right up the inside until they’re almost where you want them, then back down again.”

Dan whines even as he does as he’s told, his aching thigh muscles flinching and trembling with it, sweeping his fingers closer and closer to his balls until he doesn’t dare to push any further because he knows he won’t be able to be good. “Oh - Noah, please, I’m being good, can you please let me --”

“Shh, it’s okay, I’ve got you,” Noah rumbles, and the words settle an anxious flutter in Dan’s chest. He’ll get there, because Noah’s got him. “You are being good, Dan, I’m so proud of you. You’re amazing.”

“Yeah?” Dan says shakily, fidgeting and spreading his legs wider, as if that’ll help anything. His cock is heavy and hot where it lays on his stomach. 

“Mm-hm. You’re so talented. You make so many people happy.”

 _Oh_. So that’s what they’re doing. A frisson of nerves chases up Dan’s spine, as it always does when Noah shines a spotlight on him like this; he loves it, he’d die for it, but it’s excruciating all at once, bright enough to hurt. “Noah, I can’t - I need to…”

“I know,” Noah murmurs, because he does. He knows Dan can’t take this without something to anchor him. “Open that lube up and get your hand nice and slick, baby. Then you can touch that big, pretty cock - but keep it slow for me, okay?”

“Yes, fuck yes, thank you --” Dan scrambles for the lube - where the fuck is it, he brought it over here, _fuck he needs it right now_ \- finds it hidden in the sheets and ends up with a gross amount of it over his hand in his hurry. He doesn’t care. That first touch is a revelation, pushing a too-loud moan out of him, and Noah answers with one of his own. 

“That’s it, baby, just like that. You’re so good at doing what I say, aren’t you? You’re so capable and so driven, but you let me take care of you when you need it. That takes a lot of strength, Daniel.”

Dan forces his strokes down to a torturously slow speed, aching to please this man he loves, this man who’s exactly 1,789 miles away right now.

“You were wonderful tonight, but you always are. You bring this light to everything you do, it just bursts out of you and it’s fucking gorgeous and you - you shine, Daniel.”

A noise akin to a sob hiccups out of Dan’s throat, and Noah pauses. Dan knows what he’s going to ask, so he answers it: “Keep going, keep going.”

“Hmm. You’re kind, and generous, and funny. Your mind is so brilliant. I don’t think I’m ever going to stop being fascinated by you.”

His grip is so slick that the sounds of it fill the air along with his gasping breaths, lube mixing with the pre-come steadily leaking from his tip at the praise. He feels too big for his skin, like he’s going to explode, Noah’s soft, steady words the only thing holding him together.

“And I know you struggle to hear it. You’re so good, Dan, so good letting me tell you.”

“Noah - fuck, I’m so…” Dan trails off on a moan.

“So what, sweetheart?”

Fuck, the pet-names shouldn’t make him so insanely horny. But they do. Dan is so, so gone for him. “So hard, I’m so hard, I - I need you.”

“I’m here.” Noah grunts softly, and if Dan strains his ears, he thinks he can hear the telltale skin-to-skin slap of him jerking off. It’s so little compared to what he can’t have right now, but he clings to it desperately. “What would you want the most, if I was there with you?”

“Want you to rim me,” Dan blurts instantly, too far along to be embarrassed. The deep, throaty groan from Noah and the quickening of those filthy noises help with that, too.

“Yeah, fuck yes, I wanna. I wish I could. You fuckin’ taste so good, babe. Wanna bend you over and spread you apart and fuckin’ devour you. You get so hot for it, don’t you? You’d probably come just from my tongue fucking into you.”

“Yes, yes, yes - oh fuck I love it, _please_ ,” Dan cries, his hand shaking with the effort to keep his rhythm slow, and now his hole is fluttering with need, practically aching for it. He draws his legs up and plants his feet on the bed, spreading his legs wider, as if he’s asking for it.

“I know you do, I know you do, fuck. Okay - keep your hand on your cock. I want you to put two fingers of the other hand in that filthy mouth of yours. Okay?”

“Mm-hmm.” Dan’s already stuffed them into his mouth, garbling his agreement around them as his hips start to roll in a slow, inescapable rhythm.

“Get ‘em nice and wet for me. I want ‘em sloppy,” Noah says, sounding gratifyingly turned-on, and Dan moans around them, lets the spit pool on his tongue and roll down his fingers as he slurps on them obscenely. If Noah wants them sloppy, by God he’s gonna make it sloppy. “Fuck yes,” Noah moans, “Now - now spread your legs for me and bring those fingers down to your hole. Don’t put them inside, just - just stroke over it, there’s a good boy.”

The dripping-wet touch is enough for Dan’s thighs to fall open even wider, and as he rubs the pads of his fingers over the tight furl of his hole - _fuck yes_ , it’s just what he wants, he can’t help the noises that keep falling from his lips.

“That’s it, baby, that’s my tongue on you, you feel that? Feel how I’m licking your gorgeous hole?”

Dan can only moan. His hips are bucking now, he’s trying to keep it slow but his control is unravelling by the second. In his mind’s eye, Noah’s curls are tickling his thighs, nose pressing into his taint as he teases him with flicks of his tongue and slow, long laps.

“Fuck, yeah - you taste so good, you’re so beautiful, so gorgeous like this - I love the way you look when you take my tongue, you open up so goddamn nice for me - could stay between your legs for fuckin’ hours,” Noah pants, and it’s reassuring, hearing him losing his cool, too.

“ _Noah_ \--”

“Add a little more pressure, Daniel, rub that hole harder for me. I’m really licking you out now, m’not gonna tease you any more, I’m so fuckin’ hungry for it.”

Dan does as he’s told. Of course he does. He’s hanging on every single word. The Noah in his imagination is burying his face between his thighs now, moaning into it and lapping at him like he’s starving, gripping his thighs to hold him open. Dan thrills at the thought of seeing the bruises in the mirror the next day, forgets for a second that it’s not real. He’s aching, his cock throbbing angrily in his too-loose fist, and he sounds pitiful when he whines, “I need to jerk off, Noah, I need it, it hurts, pleasepleaseplease, I wanna come!”

“Do it, you can, it’s okay,” Noah breathes harshly, and Dan almost sobs with relief, instantly jacking his cock with a focused intent, absolutely nothing left in his mind but a frantic need and the assurance that Noah will make it okay. “I’m here, I’m gonna make you come. Oh, baby, I’m fuckin’ spreading your ass now, gonna taste you inside - bet you’re so soft and open, huh - push those two fingers in, honey, just a little, dip ‘em in and out, just like my tongue’s fucking your ass.”

“Oh fuck - oh fuck, oh shit,” Dan curses, his cock twitching hard as his fingers slip inside, stinging gorgeously, the shallow strokes and the dripping wetness making him desperate. The bedsprings are creaking beneath him with how much he’s writhing, fucking up into his fist and bearing down on his fingers, he’s so fucking close, he’s wound up tighter than tight with a week’s worth of tension and he’s going to fly apart. “I’m gonna, I’m gonna --”

“Good boy, that’s it, you’re gonna come for me, you deserve it,” Noah murmurs, and Dan’s orgasm slams into him like a gut-punch. He chokes out a moan of Noah’s name, shuddering as he comes and comes and comes, the anxiety and the heavy expectations he’s been carrying on his shoulders bleeding away.

“Oh my god. Oh my god.” Dan can’t think. He barely registers the _slap-slap-slap_ through the phone, the harsh breaths crackling through the speaker, but he manages to mumble, “You took such good care of me,” and cherishes the sound of Noah falling over the edge, all deep, rumbly moans that Dan wants to taste.

They catch their breath for a minute, Dan cleaning himself up with some handily-placed tissues and assuming Noah’s doing the same, and for some reason, a giggle bubbles up in Dan’s chest. It bursts out in a bright tinkle of laughter, and then Noah’s joining in, breathless and joyful. " _Fuck_ I love you,” Noah says, and Dan’s body feels like mush but he makes an effort to roll over to face the phone, imagining it brings him a tiny bit closer.

“I love you too.”

“How d’you feel now?”

Dan smiles, soft and so, so tired. “Like I’m ready to sleep.”

“That’s good,” Noah murmurs. “Want me to stay on ‘til you do?”

Dan’s heart does a little cartwheel as he pulls the sheets clumsily up over himself, reaching over to hit the bedside lamp. “Yeah, that - that would be nice. If you don’t mind.”

“Anything, Daniel. I’ve got you.”

*

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Please do leave a kudos/comment if you liked, I love hearing from you guys. 
> 
> Stay safe, wear your masks, get your vaccines. <3


End file.
